I'm bemused, confused, irational, spastic, crazy, happy, sad, mad, frustrated, smiling, frownig ignorant, smart, savy, special, plain, fat, thin, two cards short of a deck, lying, dying, crying, laughing, staring, sleeping, walking, speaking, singing, screaming, throwing, breaking, falling, driving, stopping... and forever standing, here... i'm bemused.

I've only used photoshop, its the only drawing program anyone has ever showd me. Then I started to get into vectoring, and people would always aske me "Hey, did you use illustrator?' I would then loo at them like they were crazy and say, "Uh no, I used photoshop". Then they would go, "Really? huh, wow, cool.". Then I'd be like, "Duh, GOD, idots". We'll today i'm in the computer lab and I see illustrator, and i'm bored, so i'm like "LETS PLAY!"... the lines, there so smooth, and I didnt know, I DIDNT KNOW! So then I pucked all over myself, fell over and passed out. Damnit, now I have to get this program. Its sooooo awsome... and sooooooo much easier, ugh, I think I'm gonna be sivk again.

ARG!... i'm still here, don't know why. I'm working on some pics again. I wanna start drawing but... Nononononononono, no buts. -_-, I have no drive to do things, I only do things because i feel its necessary to do them or that i'm simply bored. I think I lost it or something, just dropped my motivation somwhere. If any of you see, please tell me, I would really like it back. *grumble*
My job is annoying, I dont hate it, its just a annoying. School is being an ass and my apartment is always dirty... I need to get out more.

NO MORE COMPLAINONG, I want to find a project , one that I can be proud of. The last one I had was S.I.N.H. But that went belly up and died. I think that Kind of depressed me. Nothing happened. I mean working on one of my own projects, is fine. But in a group theres, more drive to finish and show the other what you have accomplished.

I don't know, I dont know what to do... I think i'll just get drunk and play vampire the Masquerade.

I'm playing a lot with photoshop right now, wich is really cool since i'm having fun with it. I use to hate photoshop to hate photoshop too. I'm also having fun with video editing, a lot of people are so much better than me, I envy them, but i'll work hard to be just as good as them. But whatever, as long as i'm having fun right?

I have seen the world turn black and am unimpressed by its lack personality. Nothing is forever and the dreams we reach for are only dreams. It will never end, the running, the fighting, the arguing, the love. We all seek the truth and end up telling lies. This is it, this is the end and the beginning of all that is translucent and real. Can we set things strait after what we have done? I don’t know, we can only try again, and again, and again, and again... until our end.

Bleed slowly, and you will see the world as it is, bleed quickly, and there is no hope.